Monday, July 23, 2012

Watching movie alone.

Long time no see folks. It has been almost 2 months since my last post. Busy bee yes it's me. I just thought I would write down fast my sudden thought right now.

Tomorrow I'm going to watch movie all alone.

Would it be weird/lonely/vulnerable/sad/depressing/etc to say it?

I used to watch Black Swan by myself before, not a good choice if you ask, I got so much affected that I just got home and stayed in my room for hours before getting back to my normal self. At least at that time, my host took me there and took me back home.

This time though, I'm going to walk all the way to the movie theater by myself.
Buy a big (has-to-be) curly french fries by myself and for myself with Coke I bring from home. Coke in movie theater is just ridiculously expensive. No judge.
I will come a bit earlier just because I like it that way. No need to wait for someone. No need to ask When will you come? Almost there? Then I will find a perfect seat at third or fourth row for myself. No need to ask Where should we sit? Is it okay? No I like to sit closer but... well, it's okay. 
Then I will blend myself in the darkness of the movie theater among the crowd like an invisible man and I'm going to enjoy the show all by myself.

I don't like to be alone, but only at the loneliest of tranquility, I can find my own perfect comfort.

See you there.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

[Fiction] Label.

I don't lie. I just don't tell the truth.

Final project.


Nguyễn Tú Trân.


“Sorry for waiting,” She said with a smile, while coming toward me.
         Trying to be as professional as I could, I said, “It’s okay. Nice to meet you,” then I raised my hand and waited for her to make a handshake. Seven minutes late wasn’t too bad for the first day of work. I could tolerate that.
We sat down and she went right into the point, “So what is your expectation for me?”
I looked at her. She seemed to be a modest and ordinary Asian girl: average height, small breasts, and there was not much make-up on her face. A youngster. I chuckled to myself. I told her about Polarista, my two-year-old start-up company about brochure design. At this moment, we were looking for lots of young and passionate interns.
She got quiet for a second then looked at me and asked: “Can I come to your office in the weekends, if I’m free?”
I laughed, “Come on Mai! Don’t you party every week?”
She shook her head. “I’m under 21,” She said.
Then she looked outside from the window as I just approached a sensitive subject. Behind those glasses were beautiful crystal clear eyes. I didn’t say anything either. In front of me was a typical little Asian girl who had a strong passion for graphic design and a boring ordinary life. I could definitely imagine her in the library under so much homework that she couldn’t have time to hang out with friends, have a couple of drinks, or get a guy. Somewhere in me was raising a feeling of an unknown satisfaction. I gave her some pictures to retouch and she finished them without complaining anything. The first day couldn’t have gone any better.
At five in the evening, I drove home. There was something needed to be done. I sighted. Opening the door, I saw my wife sitting there, reading the newspaper while waiting for me to have dinner. I kissed her on the forehead and asked how her day was going without actually listening to it.
Then I asked, “What did your dad talk about it?”
“It will be transferred to your bank account next Monday,” She hugged me from the back.
I got relieved. We had some casual dinner then I went out for a couple of drink. I got lost in the crowd and just enjoyed my glass of Vodka. Suddenly, the image of Mai appeared in my head. At this time she would be doing her homework or my work that she had brought home. Then my eyes got wide open. Mai was in front of me and as I was staring at her, she was also staring at me, eyes wide opened.
Now she was sitting in front of me. We didn’t say anything. As I thought I should be the one to start the conversation, there was only one thing I could think of.
“Someone told me she was under 21 this morning,” I said.
She looked at me and laughed out loud, “I’m sorry. I said I was under 21. I didn’t say I didn’t drink!” Then she started laughing again, “It’s a working environment. What do you want me to say at that time? Yes, I’m under 21 and I drink quite a lot?”
I looked at her feeling a bit humiliated but at the same time, there was something about her that drew me in. Mai wore a sexy silky black dress with hair tied as a bun to show her beautiful clavicles and white skin. Her make-up was a bit heavier than in the morning. Her luscious and well-defined lips were painted in blooded red. Without her glasses, the depth of her eyes was unveiled. I felt like I was being drawn into the darkness of sparkling stars.
“What’s that?” Her voice suddenly woke me up from a sweet dream.
She was so close to me. The plunging of her neckline drop down, disclosed a part of black floral bra and her cleavage. I couldn’t control myself but put my lips on hers. Her lips were soft like marshmallow and I was just licking around the deadly sweetness of it.
We went to a motel nearby. Just when our door was opened, I lifted her whole body up, gently but fast taking off her clothes. I was on her and we were both harmoniously dancing in a ghostly song. What was the morality that we had to abide by? That question appeared once or twice in my mind, but at that time I just wanted to enjoy our moment together.
The sunshine from the window licked on my face and woke me up. Mai was nearby, gently sleeping like a quiet puppy. Yesterday was not a dream. My heart jumped for a second but I looked at Mai again, fondled her soft pinkish cheeks like baby skin. I could feel a soft spring weaving from every corner of my heart to the part down there. Some parts of me were mentally and physically woken up and I felt so lively.
Later on when Mai woke up, I asked her where she would like to go for breakfast and without a second of thought, she said, “La Boulange.”
I had never been to La Boulange before. There was something too fancy about it that didn’t suit me. But Mai obviously loved that place. We went inside and I suddenly knew why I had felt that way. It felt like the time stood still in this shop. Everyone took their time to look around the cakes. There were many, too many indeed. Mai looked at colorful Macaroons then looked at me. Her eyes sparkled. I giggled then nodded. She chose ten out of them and I picked a simple breakfast pizza with a coffee.
I was about to sit down in the shop then she said, “Let’s eat outside.”
La Boulange was inside Yerba Buena garden so right in front of it was a field of green grass. What a nice location. I thought to myself. We sat down and Mai took a bite from the mango Macaroon, closed her eyes, then slowly chewed it. There was something hunting about this girl that I couldn’t take my eyes off.
Suddenly she looked at me, her eyes whirled deeply into my soul, “You want some?”
I vacillated for a second but then got closer and took the other half of the Macaroon from her hand. My lips touched her fingers. She seemed to not mind then sucked her fingers to clean them up. I felt a bit turned on. A quiet moment passed by. Then Mai lied on the grass and asked me to do the same thing. It was a comfortable feeling that I haven’t felt for ages. I closed my eyes and felt the cool wind kissing all over my face.
“I love to lie down on the ground, look up on the sky, and wonder why I was born, why things happened the way they were,” She whispered from far, far away, “Was it meant to be something?”
I heard her voice but wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or just mumbling to herself. I wouldn’t mind. This feeling was too good to be woken up.
            I went home. My wife was there. I kissed her on the forehead and asked how things were going. She got used to the fact that I wasn’t home sometimes because the company was still in a hard time to find a placement in the market. I hoped she also knew that we haven’t had sex for two months. I dreamed of the day I could hang out with Mai again.
            Few weeks later, on a Thursday morning, I told my wife I wouldn’t come back that night then left. At work, I couldn’t concentrate. The tremendous amount of work was eating me up so when Mai decided to hang out at her place, I happily agree. Her apartment was a clean and organized studio. Here and there were hanging many pictures of her and her friends. None of them were ours. We shouldn’t, obviously. While I was looking around, she came to me with a glass of drink.
            “My mom always made me lime juice when I got sick,” she said. “Don’t worry. It’s delicious.” She winked at me.
            Suddenly I felt my heart was melted. Was it why she wanted us to stay home? I hugged Mai but she didn’t react. Then she opened the window, went out to the balcony, then picked up a cigarette in her pocket. I didn’t know she smoked. She busted a smile and fired the cigarette. Mai took a deep breath, looked up on the night sky with twinkle little stars, then blew out a thick smoke. The smoke danced ghostly in the sky then later vanished in the air. Suddenly, I got astonished when a song started to fly out from her lips.
Feeling my heart was beating fast, I asked, “What kind of song is this?”
9 Crimes by Damien Rice. Good song.” She smiled like nothing happened.
She knew it wasn’t the answer I was looking for. Suddenly she kissed me then smiled naughtily. It was the first time she took the initiative. It was sweet like gummy bear. I replied by another kiss then we both smiled. What I just thought, I couldn’t remember. I wouldn’t mind forgetting it either.
            The next night when I went home, my wife was waiting for me behind the door.
            “You didn’t answer my phone call yesterday. What happened?” She asked.
            “I’m sorry. I was busy with work and forgot to pick up the phone.” I said.
My voice raised a bit higher than normal. Mistake. I knew what was going to happen next. She started to tear up. I hugged her. I apologized. I hold her tighter. She struggled. She punched my chest. She pushed me away.
With tears all over her face, she cried out, “You get bored of me now, don’t you? You used me and now want to leave me, don’t you? ISN’T IT BECAUSE I’M INANIMATE?”
The last word tore my heart into pieces. I ran out of the house then got to the car. I didn’t know where to go. I just drove. Her last word still echoed in my head. I got one voice message from her, then many later. She cried. She apologized. She begged me to come home. I didn’t reply. I was exhausted.
Mai came out of her house, looking at me surprisingly, then let me in.
She brought me a cup of hot tea and said, “I’m busy with my final today. But we can have sex later.” The last line was dropped like thin hair.
That night wasn’t the same as any other nights. My anger, my desire, my exhaustion, my thirst, I pulled them out in every movement I made. Her body tallied with mine. I bit her lips. She uttered softly. It was a vague idea on the first day we met but now it was clear like crystal. There was a strange bonding between us. Love perhaps?
            I found myself being the luckiest man alive. After that night, my wife wouldn’t dare to complain about my suddenly–busy schedule. She said it was a good thing. We still didn’t have sex, but occasionally I would hug or cuddle her so she knew the sky wasn’t falling. In another hand, I had Mai with no strings attached.
Time was passing by. It was so fast that finally her internship came to an end. I did give her a job offer, but she denied since she got a better job from a company in our city. At least she was still with me so either way was fine. Thus probably she thought it would be better for us not to work in the same place so I happily let her go.
On the last day of work, when Mai came to pick up her office supplies, she brought a young guy with her. Suddenly a cold shiver ran down my spine. She showed him her workplace while he was holding her hand. Then she asked him to pick up some heavy things for her and gave him a kiss. Everything happened right in front of me. When the guy was bringing her stuff downstairs, Mai came to my office.
She looked at me in the eyes then smiled, “You thought we were lovers, didn’t you? No one knows what our relationship is. No picture was taken. We have done everything, except getting a label for it.”
I got threatened. None of the words could come out from of my mouth. Then I remembered my wife. She would still be in the house reading the newspaper and waiting for me to come home.
“Now aren’t you thinking of your wife?” Mai didn’t stop talking yet, “But should we call her your wife anyway? She has the label but nothing else.”
Then she smiled, let me stay there bewildered, and walked away.
/The end/

Sunday, April 22, 2012

The Zombie Boy.

It amazes me every time I look at him, at how much devoted he is to art. People might think if he can be this hot with the zombie tattoo on over his body, so do I, which literally somebody did think that. No you can't. Only Rick Genest can be flawless with this look. I don't know why. I'm still trying to figure out it too.

Beautiful oval face, perfect straight nose, sexy thin lips. The movement of his eyes inside those solid black holes. Left right left right, eyes wide open. His smirky smile. It's naughty, daring, but sweet. The way he raises his neck with muscle tattoo. It's just beautiful. With or without the tattoo. Even his personality shines through the skin and eyes. Everything comes to him so naturally so when he gets in front of the camera, that charisma just floats out and draws people into him. Gifted I'd like to say.

And if someone is ignorant enough to think they can be him, show them this:

Monday, April 9, 2012

Look around and find those butterflies.

Sometimes I wonder why I couldn't shallow cute romantic comedy movie like Leap Year. My friends have been praised it for days so I got all curious but then gave up after the last half of the movie. The ending was actually hilarious when just all of the sudden the nice high-educated boyfriend, who appeared to love her so much, just frankly said that he got married to her because he wanted to live in the apartment. And audience actually believe in that logic?? Wow!

Luckily enough, I decided to watch Kokuhaku (Confessions) at 3 in the morning. And that is how this post starts.

{Part one of thought}

The movie is simply beautiful and hunting. The story is heavy and horrified, but here and there, there will be some happy innocent scents with 13 year old kids jump in the rain, sing a catchy song, or dance in the class.

But the heavy disgusted feeling is there and has never been gone.

Someone doesn't know what is really going on.

The other just simply doesn't care.

Everyone is selfish.

The teacher, in order to revenge for her child, feeds up 35 kids to bully her 2 targets.
The 13 year old girl who tries to protect her boyfriend but poisoned her whole family in the past.
The 13 year old boy, named A, in order to impress his mother, intends to kill the whole school.
The 13 year old boy, named B, in order to impress and be friend with A, kills an innocent kid.
The mother of B, because of overprotecting her son, denies the loss of his victim.

Everyone is selfish.

{Part two of thought}

Continue with the first thought, I think Kohaku has to be the best movie about bullying.

People are selfish. Everyone is.

But there is hope.
Trust it.

{Part three of thought}

(Jump to 3:35 if you ask why the hell I post a video about tattoos of an [seem to be] emo girl.)

Bullies are those who get bullied.

It's ironic when a video about bully is posted on Youtube, all of the sudden, the bullies get bullied by a massive cyber bully. Teenagers probably don't know that bully is not only violent action or verbal abuse, it also is words and incredibly unexpected probably: thoughts.

Watch your thoughts for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

I'd like to simply put it like this:
You think negative, you say negative.
You say negative, you react negative.
You act negative, you become negative.

So think positive. If you can't, practice! Simple as that!
(Oh and stay simple too!)

{Part four of thought}

At the end of each day, watches these:

And be happy.

For now,
Good night <3

Pictures are screen capped by me.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Soul mate.

How many time in our lives can we meet our soul mates?

What get me to wonder is how much connected we are to this one person and all of sudden, time comes, and we separate. Not a minute is given to determine.

I guess since I come as a helper, when the job is done, I'm supposed to leave for someone else.

PS: Chocolate does help.

Be nice to self.

Today I suddenly have an urge to write. I want to say that right now, when around me is in such a chaos, the smell of this Cranberry Mandarin candle really calms me down. And it has done a good job since 2009. So much that I seem to get addicted to it.

It's fine. All I want for now is something to comfort my mind.


Everyone will be happy and no one hurts.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

[Vietnam Sweetheart] The North.

All over my mind right now is a short story, if I don't count tons of homework (School's back!) But the story is still unfinished so I just go ahead and post the pictures I took from last Summer, when I was lucky enough to go back to Vietnam and travel 3 regions of my beautiful country.

The Vietnam Sweetheart will be divided into 3 posts: the North, the Middle, and the South. If I can catch your interest, there might be some more posts about the food from 3 regions.

And for now, 




This is such a beautiful little door. I felt like a giant standing next to it ~<3


King's transportation. 

Hoa Lu
The Old capital of Vietnam.

Trang An
One boat can take up to 5 people, includes the drivers, who are mostly women. 

 Trang An

 Trang An

 Trang An

 Trang An

 Trang An

Daily activity at 5pm.

Traditional art: Water Puppetry. I remember this was my favorite show when I was young. How much work they have done for the audience to enjoy 45 minutes of the show.

In front of one temple. I have a secret obsession with smoke in general. Magic.



One tree inside another.


President Ho Chi Minh's house on stilts.

President's office.

President Ho Chi Minh's tomb. I still can't forget the feeling when I got inside.




Ha Long
(Dragon comes down.)

 Ha Long

Ha Long

Ha Long

I know there is this silent taboo about the North and South of Vietnam that most of the time when American folks know I'm from Vietnam, the next question they will ask is, "Which part?" To be totally open and honest, I feel a bit of insulting. Want it or not, Vietnam is officially an united country.

Just say that may be I'm too young to talk about this, or may be I don't know about Vietnam well enough, here is the fact that I can be sure of, I have many wonderful friends from all 3 regions of Vietnam (:

I'm Vietnamese, proud and loud.

With love.