I still remember in my first time in the US 3 years ago, one of the very first things my host in Texas told me was: Do whatever you want to do. I got stunned. What do I want to do? Should I do it? Is it right to do it - the thing that I want to do? I have kept asking myself those questions. Since then, she has said that to me several times and I found myself got a bit perplexed every time she said it, Do whatever you want to do.
And there it was once day, when my exchange program was almost over, I came to her and said, I feel sick, so can I stay home and not going to church today?
She looked at me with a smile on her face and said, You can do whatever you want to do.
At that time, a vague feeling slightly burned in me.
I had the choice. And I made my decision.
When I come to California, my personality has gotten a bit stronger and until last year, I felt it was almost done. I know who I am. I know what I want to do and whom I want to be, mostly. I know I have choices and I have made many and many decisions, even though some of them were based on my friends’ advices, I know I am the one who makes my decision.
The truth is not all of my decisions are the right choices to choose. Lots of them made me bored, few of them made me lose my money, and one of them gave me hurt; but overall and after all, for what I have remembered, many and many of them made me smile, and all of them gave me lessons.
But for what I have said, not so many people know that they have a right, at least in the U.S., to make a decision.
You do have a right to make your own decision.
For that, whenever I hang out with my friends, usually I ask them what they want and we discuss to do what we want to do.
Dear, I never asked you to do what I wanted you to do. Even though, honestly, I got disappointed at some of your choices, I never asked you to stop doing it. As always, I gave you the choices to either do it or not, and I let you make your own decision. Don’t tell me lie. There is no need to. Don’t tell me you don’t know what to do. You know what to do. Just give yourself time to listen to your own head and heart.
It’s your life. Do whatever you want to do with it. Because at the very end of one story, you are the one who takes the consequence. Trust me, I respect your honest choice. Unless it’s from other.